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Photo Gallery
Right Hand Rings
Congratulations ladies. The world of diamond jewelry
advertising has discovered that you have a right hand. While this
may come as quite a shock to you and many may doubt what I’m
saying, I can clearly prove that what I’m saying is fact,
not folly. Please look over to your left hand/arm. It’s the
hand/arm where you will find your engagement ring, wedding band
or watch, (assuming you’re right handed; of course if you
are, then I don’t have to prove anything to you. You knew
when we started this exercise you had a right hand!) Take your left
hand and make a clapping sound. The hand you just hit is called
your right hand! I know, I had to repeat the exercise a few times
myself before I believed I had a right hand. What a shock! Then
I was informed that apparently these “right hand rings”
aren’t for me (guys). Note to diamond advertising company:
When will you publicly acknowledge that men have right hands, too?
Will it be next year? Year after? I know, it’s not all about
me. I was just curious. Anyway, the Diamond Trading Company (formerly
known as DeBeers) is spending millions of dollars letting women
know that not only are they the owner of a right hand, (this has
really got to tick off the women who don’t have a right hand,
but then sometimes advertising can’t please everyone) but
will feel more empowered if they buy themselves a piece of jewelry
for that hand. Here’s the advertisers logic: In the past,
we told women if their men loved them they would buy them a diamond
or a nice piece of jewelry. In the community of women, a piece of
jewelry is not only a status symbol but a declaration to all the
world that they are loved. The advertising guys, after reading the
2002 US Census Bureau Report, realized that 23.6% of women don’t
ever get married and will never get a piece of jewelry from the
love of their lives. While this isn’t disturbing enough in
its own right, the diamond industry took it more in terms of dollars
and cents. Close to 25% of women were falling through the sales
net. Not only that, the women who do own a few trinkets depend on
us, the males, to buy them more. As a rule, most men aren’t
tickled to death at the prospect of buying “lots” of
jewelry for our wives, unless of course we’ve done something
really wrong and deserve to be forgiven (I got your back, Kobe.)
That being said, the solution to the problem was very simple (if
you’re the advertisers); convince women to buy jewelry. Tell
them it proves how independent, strong and intelligent they are
and the Diamond Trading Company (DeBeers) could double the number
of diamond jewelry buyers out there!
Short story: When I was eleven
years old, I went on my first memorable airplane ride. Being that
my Dad was a pilot in the Air Force, I felt I could get a taste
of what he did when he went to work. He assured me that flying on
a 747 was nothing like flying a two-seater jet at mach 2. Even though
I didn’t know what type of plane a “54” was (I
didn’t understand why my Dad didn’t just add 7 and 47),
or who Mack Tu was (probably his co-pilot), I was still looking
forward to the adventure. “Please take your seats. The captain
will be taxiing to the runway any minute.” This, of course,
alarmed me. Where could the captain be taking a taxi to? Shouldn’t
he be flying the plane? But then I remembered about Mack, the co-pilot,
and felt better. The next thing I remember was a very pretty lady
giving instructions to everyone on how to work a seat belt. Because
I had already easily connected and reconnected my own belt a thousand
times, I didn’t understand who this demonstration was for.
What I’m trying to say is, while I appreciate what the advertising
guys are trying to do, sell more jewelry, they don’t have
to state the obvious. Come on, how many different ways are there
to stick the buckle into that latch? I’ve always preferred
the K.I.S.S. approach (Keep It Simple Stupid). Show the bright,
intelligent ladies some beautiful jewelry and step back and see
what happens.
Without further ado, here are the “Right Hand Rings.”
P.S. You can wear them on your left hand, too.
Just don’t tell anybody. It will be our little secret.
by Fred Cuellar, author of the best-selling book "How to Buy a Diamond."
More questions? Ask
the Diamond Guy®
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