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For Men Only
What Women Want
Many a man in a fit of rage has blurted out, “What
in the name of God does my woman want?! I give and I give and I
give and still she’s not happy!” I can relate. I’ve
been trying to figure women out my whole adult life.
Heck, even the better part of my adolescence was
spent on the question. And it’s always the minute I get close
to the answer that I’d be sent blindly into a black hole of
confusion. Women are a lot like a golf swing — just when you
think you have mastered it, your next ball slices off the fairway.
Women by definition equal confusion or that which lacks explanation.
So hand in hand with the search for the meaning of life, I ventured
out on this crusade to answer the one question which seems to defy
logic. What do women want?
At the beginning of my search I had to accept
the possibility that the question may not even have an answer. I
mean certainly not all women think the same, so how in heaven can
they all want the same thing? A single gal can’t possibly have
the same needs as a married gal. A career woman can’t possibly
relate to a homemaker. A teenager can’t crave what a 20 to
30 year old might or for that matter a senior citizen. Women are
different so they must want different things. Right?
Well, kinda and kinda no. There are if you look
carefully some common things all women want. How do I know? I asked
them. Here are my results.
Women want it all or none of it. They want to
be understood but not type-cast; they want to be happy but allowed
to be sad; they want companionship but don’t need someone to
be happy; they want honesty but seldom the truth; they want equality
while being placed on a pedestal and most of all they want respect.
Respect for who they are, where they’ve come from and where
they are going. Don’t pity them, coddle them or treat them
with kid gloves. Today’s woman is a woman of diversity and
contradictions. What she wants today is not what she will want tomorrow
because she is setting new goals. Why men can’t figure women
out is because they are a masterpiece in progress. A woman doesn’t
grow old; she just gets better. Wonder why you can’t put lightning
in a bottle? Because it just moves too quick.
Just like women. Ask your average man what 2 +
2 equals and he’ll say “4” every time. Ask a woman
and she’ll say “looks like a little get together.”
Women are always one step ahead and always will be.
If we are to keep up there are a few keys to our
survival. Number one, listen. Number two, listen. Number three,
listen. See a pattern here? We men do a lot of hearing and not enough
listening. Want to stay out of trouble? Listen. Want to be the man
of the house? Listen. Want to have a long loving relationship? Listen.
My God, listen till the blood drips from your ears; listen till
you want to scream out a solution; listen until she has nothing
left to say and when she’s done, shut up and listen some more.
Women are the caregivers and if you want her to give, you’d
better do some caring.
Number four, hug her. Hug her in the morning,
hug her before you leave to work, e-mail her a hug and hug her ten
times when you get home. A woman is a fire. Want to keep her burning?
You have to fan the flames. You do that with hugs.
Number five, don’t lie. Don’t white
lie, don’t sugar coat the truth, tell it like it is. A woman
can forgive a lot of things but she won’t put up with a snake
in the grass liar. If you screw up, lost your Christmas bonus at
the track, forgot to take out the trash, catches you staring at
another woman, give it up, take your licks and move on. I repeat,
a woman can forgive anything, but she will not allow herself to
be disrespected. Lie to a woman you are dissing her. Tell the truth,
you live to play another day.
Six, structure. Every woman I talked to listed
structure in their top three needs. A woman wants stability, balance,
a sense of order. She wants someone she can rely on. You say you’re
going to be home at 6:00, you be home at 6:00. Running late? Call.
The hardest thing for us guys is to differenciate between support
and total control. Creating a foundation and stability doesn’t
mean trying to solve all the problems to the point you disempower
the one you love. Your love is not a crutch but a bond. A bond where
dependability is synonymous with trust.
Seven, love them. Love them most of all. Let it
all out. Let it all out every day, every minute of every second
of every day. Be love, crawl up inside of it and approach every
problem with the question what would love do now? If you do this,
fear will never enter your life.
What do women want? They just want to be happy
like us. They just have a different way to show it. If you learn
their language, listen when you’d rather speak, hug instead
of just walking away, tell the truth till it hurts, be a man she
can depend on and love her like you love yourself. You’ll no
longer ask what women want, they’ll be asking you what you
want and give it to you.
by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®
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