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For Women Only
Sophomore Jinx
In baseball when a pitcher is doing well (striking
everyone out) they say he is in a zone. His fastball, curve ball,
split finger, slider are all probably working for him! He can do
no wrong. He's got the right stuff. When a pitcher is getting lit
up (hit on) they say he’s lost his stuff, no zone, throwing
up junk. He typically gets pulled for a relief pitcher. But if a
pitcher does get lucky enough to stay in a zone for 9 innings, 27
batters, 27 outs, no walks, they say that pitcher has pitched a
perfect game. In the history of baseball few pitchers have ever
thrown a no-hitter and even fewer have ever pitched a perfect game
and no pitcher has ever pitched two consecutive perfect games in
a row. Never. Ever.
For some men perfection can be a curse. A ghost
they end up chasing for the rest of their lives. Others just quit
rather than face the certainty of constant disappointment. Without
question the quest to the top of the pyramid is certainly much more
enjoyable than defending the crown. Consistency in achievement on
or off the field can be paralyzing to men. The bedroom is no different.
At the beginning of every relationship a man is
attempting to throw his good stuff. He goes all out. He stands up
on the mound, winds up and tries to put one over home plate. Right
in the pocket. Flowers, dinner, massage, foreplay, doubles, triples,
homeruns. Sometimes, and I mean rarely, it’s magic, euphoria,
time stops and even the gods give a standing ovation. For that moment
the man was perfect. The perfect lover! Now keep in mind the male
is proud of himself but somewhere deep inside regardless of how
happy he is with his performance anxiety quickly sets in. “Oh
my God! What if she thinks I can pull this off every time?! What
if she thinks this is just my run of the mill day to day stuff?
I’d kill myself if I had to try and pull this off again!”
Panic has taken over the man. He has become his own worst enemy.
“Why in God’s name did I have to set the sexual bar so
high?! Should I run or confess? No, better that she think I’m
a sex god than admit I’m human. I’ll run.”
You know what happens next? Nothing. The phone
doesn’t ring, the man doesn’t call. If it’s the beginning
of the relationship it becomes the ends. The confused gal whose
world was rocked thinks she was just played when in reality the
man just has sophomore jitters or is afraid of a “Sophomore
Jinx.” All men know that no pitcher has ever thrown two perfect
games and the likelihood he’s going to be the first is slim
and none. The sad part to this story is this couple actually did
have magic, did make time stop but now it’s lost because most
non pig-headed men who care about a woman's feelings at some level
are insecure. It’s that insecurity that allows boys to be heroes,
fight wars, become scholars, become dads, become men. Men do great
things to squelch insecurity and as we get older it gets smaller
but it never goes away entirely. If as a woman you can see through
our bravado there might be a few relationships you can save before
it’s too late.
If you’re dating and perfection shines on
you in the bedroom, make a point to let him know as a reward next
time he gets to sit it out while you take charge. Men, whether they
admit it or not, love to be made love to. We don’t always need
or want to be in control.
If you’re in a relationship already and you
sense signs of performance anxiety, take the bull by the horns (literally)
and relieve a little tension. Men don’t get headaches in the
bedroom, it’s just sometimes they don’t feel like going
nine innings. It’s your job to be the relief pitcher every
now and then.
by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®
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