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For Women Only
Superman Syndrome
Big boys don’t cry — if you want a job
done right you have to do it yourself — survival of the fittest
— the boy with the most toys wins — a real man solves
his own problems and behind every good man is a good woman. Young
boys are told a lot of things growing up. Stereotypes are created
at a whim to please society and the world around us.
“Superman Syndrome” is the fallacy that
a man ain’t worth two cents if he’s not a good provider
and problem solver. Ever hear the expression, “I wonder who
wears the pants in that family?” It stems from ignorance bred
by the idea that a real man is head of his family and makes all
the final decisions. And it’s that ignorance that turns young
boys into men who think every time their family, their wife has
a problem he's expected to be Superman and solve the problem.
Real men solve problems, that’s what we’re
told our entire lives. That’s why I think men get confused
when our mates tell us about their day and the Superman in us doesn’t
look to listen but listens to fix, to solve, to save. Most men don’t
understand that women don’t need saving any more. I don’t
know if they ever did. Women just want to be heard. Not solved or
fixed, just heard, understood. Nothing has meaning till we give
it meaning. A problem is not a problem till we label it one.
I don’t know what women do when they sit
around and share ideas and talk. But I do know what men do when
they group together. They tell war stories. Battles won, problems
solved, questions answered. We puff ourselves up, I think not so
much out of ego but maybe to help each other in garnering a little
more confidence to take on another day.
You see, deep down we know we aren’t Supermen
and we can’t solve all the problems, but that doesn’t
stop us from dreaming. Maybe this article is more for men to stop
labeling every thing out of a woman’s mouth as a problem and
stop trying to fix it, or maybe it’s for women to understand
that when we don’t have something to fix we feel useless. I
don’t know how to make men better listeners but if I could
make one request, maybe once in a while when you do have a problem
to solve, even though you can probably solve it yourself, you can
be Lois Lane and let us be Superman. Because even if we can’t
save the world, we still want to be heroes.
by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®
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