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Life Articles
How Ya Been?
The other day I bumped into an acquaintance and
before I could form a thought I found myself saying what I always
seem to say to someone I know and run into by accident, “How
ya been?”
We say it all the time to people on the street,
people we meet standing in line, to old friends we haven’t
talked to in years, to friends we saw last week. It gives us time
to formulate other ingenious statements like, “You look great.
Have you lost some weight? We should get together for lunch. Don’t
be a stranger.” We go through life having small, inconsequential
conversations with strangers, family and friends, pausing just long
enough to not interrupt our made up schedule to get where we believe
we need to be. For most people, life isn’t about what we put
into it but what we get out of it.
I hadn’t seen Candice in two weeks. Last
time we saw each other I heard about her husband’s promotion,
her new Mercedes Coupe and her ski trip coming up to Squaw Valley.
There wasn’t enough time to do all the things in her busy schedule.
She was rushing. Almost so fast she couldn’t see herself coming
or going. It had only been two weeks.
“Hi Candice, how ya been?”
“Fine, I guess, no, not really; it’s
been kind of tough.”
Her statement caught me by surprise. “Oh,
I’m sorry, what’s up?”
“My brother was carjacked the day after I
saw you last.”
“My God, is he okay?”
“His funeral was last week. He was only nineteen.”
“I’m sorry, is there anything I can
do?”
“Yesterday I was with my mother, she was
diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, her oncologist says all we can
do is make her comfortable.” Suddenly, Candice’s schedule
wasn’t so busy. At least not with planning ski trips or spa
appointments or galas. Her made up schedule of important things
to do was now filled with the reality of life, the reality of death,
the reality of loss. Most of us have busy schedules of our creation.
Sometimes life reorganizes it. On September 11th, 2001 everyone’s
schedule came to a halt and we were all forced to be on the same
page, face the same truths, the same fears, the same realities.
We all became one. We had real conversations for the first time
in years. Divisions fell, hypocrisies melted, bigotries were set
aside. As a nation that was coming apart at the seams, we were suddenly
sewn tighter than ever as we became a country united. It took the
loss of thousands of lives to wake us out of our slumber and staged
conversations as we were caught sleep walking through our lives.
Not realizing what was important from what wasn’t.
Candice reminded me that since September 11th,
not all at once, we were slowly falling asleep again. Creating false
priorities, false promises, and false realities.
In less than six months we were forgetting the
valuable lessons that 9/11 had to offer. We aren’t going to
live forever. There is only one of us. Love shouldn’t be rationed
out and there isn’t anything that we can’t do if we work
together.
Candice left my office almost in a daze. A daze
we all go through when life makes us go left when we thought we
were going right. My question is does it really take a tragedy for
us to appreciate the things we’ve always had in our life but
forgot were there? Does it really take a catastrophe for us to tell
the ones we love how lucky we are to have them in our lives? I hope
not. My wish is for all of us to slow down, throw away our “To
Do” lists and realize we all have everything we ever needed
to be happy. Ourselves!
by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®
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