If you’re married, you’ll probably remember the words I (fill in your name) do take (fill in his name) to love, honor and cherish through sickness and health; through good times and bad forsaking all others till death do us part. Or maybe you wrote your own vows that showed a little more creativity. Either way I’ll bet my bottom dollar monogamy and “till death do us part” were part of your vows.
If your man said these words or is going to say these words, you can stop reading this article right now. You have married or are going to marry a cheater. I don’t know whose idea it was to put boundaries on love and death in the same sentence but they were an idiot. The quickest way to drive a man to cheat is by putting boundaries on him or bring up his own mortality. That’s why so many middle-aged men run off with another woman because “till death do us part” pops up in their head and they feel they have to leave their current relationship because its only heading one place: “Deathville.”
Statistically 99% of all men will cheat on their spouse during their marriage. The other 1% doesn’t exist, it’s just there because no statistical average is 100% accurate and the survey has a + 1% error ratio. That’s right, that’s what I’m saying, all men cheat, are cheating, or will cheat. It’s built into our make up to hunt and conquer.
Now don’t get me wrong, not all men’s mistresses are women. In some cases it’s football, sports in general, golf, work, money, possessions. Heck, men can cheat on a woman with a television set. Cheating can be anything that make a woman feel lonely, depressed, taken advantage of, or replaced. Ever feel jealous of something your boyfriend or husband is doing or has done? Then you’ve allowed yourself to be cheated on.
Want to know what I believe are the two most responsible reasons for divorce in this country? Jealousy and boundaries. Tell a kid he can’t have a cookie and I promise you will catch him with his hand in the cookie jar. Even Adam and Eve who had everything blew it the minute someone who will remain nameless said you can eat everything but don’t touch the apples. Come on, the nameless one was practically begging us to take a nibble.
Men as well as women tend to want what they are told they can’t have. Want a forever lasting relationship? Loosen the reins. The tightest relationships are the ones with the loosest reins. Remove jealousy, remove boundaries and you’ll remove cheating.
I think if I could write the perfect vows, it would be, “I’ll always try to do my best but if there are times when I am weak, you’ll allow me to speak and not judge me for my thoughts.” Want to blow a man’s mind? Tell him, “Honey I know just because we are getting married, you don’t have to give up your other interests. Just always be honest with me. Tell me the truth. Loving me doesn’t mean letting go of others or the things you love.”
You know what the #1 reason women leave a man if he cheats on her? It isn’t the other women, it was the deception.
So if you’re a man reading this article and you really are a man and you’re thinking of letting something else come between you and your spouse, be at least big enough to be honest with your woman and tell her. And if you’re a woman reading this, make your man understand you can be loving and understanding of anything unless he disrespects you or is dishonest.
by Fred Cuellar the Diamond Guy®